Mommy Commencement Speech

          Now that all the children have headed back to school, I thought it was a perfect time for a Commencement Speech for Mommy's. A rally cry as we all go forth through the tears, the joys, the heartaches that come with a new school year. Whether it's sending our little ones off for the very first time or watching our almost adults begin the first year of college, there's something about this time of year that calls for Mommy Camaraderie.

       We tell ourselves this year is going to be different. I'm going to pack lunches the night before, I'm going to have home cooked meals every night, I'm going to volunteer more at the school, I'm going to have at least one date night a month, and I'm ABSOLUTELY going to start that Zumba class!! We make promises to ourselves and find ourselves remaking them by New Years and letting them fall to the waste side by spring break.

       It is very easy to tell you to relax. It's easy to give you the long list of Mommy-Feel-Good lines that are printed over and over. It is harder to make those words resound, make you take them to heart. It is nearly impossible to make you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're doing fine, especially when you feel like everything around you is in chaos. That feeling is normal. Every mom has it whether they admit it or not. So many of us try to portray perfection. even though TV & movies have been open to showing the "ugly-side' of motherhood- the no-make up, dinner from a can, messy living room, chasing after a 3 year old, miss-matched sock reality of it all. But even this does not ease the burden of actually raising children.

      So I say this to you: Be kind to yourself.  Please. There is only one you, no good substitute or replacement is available. You are your child parent- for better or worse. So do the things that make you happy. Be an example to them that life is about smiles and laughter, love and joy. Enstil in them a strong work ethic and an equally sense of self-worth by living it. The dishes won't complain about sitting in the sink for an our while you read bedtime stories and if you can learn to ignore your nagging inner voice the laundry will wait diligently until after your yoga class.

     It is still your life even though it sometimes may feel that you've given over control to Eris, the goddess of chaos. You deserve happiness, just as your children do. So give yourself a break (literally and figuratively) take a long walk and forgive yourself for ordering take out 3 nights in a row. Make a promise to relinquish some of that control, slack the reigns and enjoy the ride.

Meditation for Kids

There are many benefits associated with meditation and recently this group of relaxing techniques has been touted as a wonder-therapy for kids with ADHD. however when you have kids, any amount of time spent in silence seems to be just a myth. Exposing children, even young ones, to the beauty of silence helps them relax their minds & bodies and also prevents over stimulation. There are hundreds of ways to introduce children to meditation; here are a few tips and suggestions to help you find what works for you and your little one.

• Meditation shouldn't be a punishment or a chore. Do not pressure children to mediate; let them gravitate to it on their own. Not everyone will be moved to meditation and no one should be forced if they are not ready; it defeats the purpose. So, make sure you introduce meditation in a positive way, and present a variety of options so the child understands that your not simply looking for a few minutes of quiet.
  
• Don't over do it. The general rule is 1 minute of silence for every year of life. So don't stress yourself trying to get your two year old to sit still for an hour. Begin by using the meditation as a warm up or cool down to other activities and do not overwhelm young ones with too much explanation or complexity.
• Start out as something you do together. Avoid making it a competition. It's not about who can be quiet the longest. Instead use the time to bond. Whether its just quiet time, or you introduce stretching, walking, or yoga; Let this be time where it's you and your child; no phone, no TV, no visitors. Soon your child will look forward to having uninterrupted time with you.
  

For Ages Birth - 1
As you can probably imagine, this really isn't meditation. Its basically carving out a time where you and your child sit quietly. No TV, no music, no distractions. Maybe just rocking them gently while deep breathing or humming a soft lullaby.

For Ages 1-4
Once children are mobile and on the move, it's harder to get them to sit quietly. If introducing them at this stage, use meditation as a opening act for something else. Example, go for a short walk and say, "Before we go for our walk we need to get ready." Then help your child sit on the floor and do simple stretches and breathing. After your walk, have the child repeat the stretching and breathing exercises.

For Ages 5-7
Start with guided meditations that will allow you to develop something that is more like story telling and gradually get them to a place where they are guided by their own thoughts and imaginations. Have them visualize walking on a beach and watching the waves, or sitting in the grass watching the flowers sway in the breeze.

For Ages 7-10
At this age, you can begin to introduce self-reflection. Begin with a guided meditation and then ask simple questions like, "Did something upset you today?" or "What can you do to be a better friend/student/brother?". No answers are needed aloud. This is a time for the child to look inward and have some self-reflection and you will be teaching them to ask these kinds of questions of themselves.

Note: It is important that both you and the children are dressed comfortably - preferably sweats/shorts and a t-shirt - and to not be hungry, tired or sleepy. You and your child shouldn't be distracted by an itchy sock or a grumbling belly. Also note that you do not need any special mood-setting paraphernalia like candles, music or special aromas. All you need is space and quiet.

5 Things Moms Shouldn't Be Ashamed To Do in Public

1) Sing and Dance - It doesn't matter if you can sing or not, what matters is that singing I'm a little Teapot will keep your 2 year old from getting out of the shopping cart and rolling cans down the aisle. So sing loud and sing proud. And if people around you look annoyed, just remember that it would be worse if they had to hear your kid wailing.

2) Change a Diaper/Skipping the Line - Kids are not grown ups and they don't have the bladder control that adults have, so expecting them to hold it is a dangerous waiting game; and making a toddler sit in a wet diaper is just cruel. Other people with kids will understand if you ask to skip the line with a wiggling 3 year old; and no one will blame you for changing your infant on a bench.

3) Nurse/Feed their Kids - Similar to the endless bathroom breaks, don't be shy about feeding a hungry kid. You're the parent and kids can't really fend for themselves - so feed them! Also, when children are hungry they get cranky and tend to have more tantrums and meltdowns. So what if you have to cop-a-squat in a stairwell with a slice of pizza; it's better than trying to calm a tired, hungry, cranky kid.

4) Leave Abruptly - You should never feel bad about having to cut a conversation short, leave a cart of groceries in the middle of the aisle, or ditch a party before the cake is served. The reason for your early departure will change - anywhere from tantrums to sick kid - but don't despair over leaving some place when your son is making a scene, needs to nap/eat/potty, or is otherwise just not cooperating.

5) Protect their Children - This covers a wide range of parenting actions from not forcing her to kiss a distant relative she doesn't like, scolding her for running away from you, or questioning a medication prescribed by the doctor. As a parent your job is to assess every situation your child enters and to weigh the experience versus the damage it may do. So never be coy about something you think will not be good for your child's emotional or physical well being.

4 Things Your Kids Will Do That You Shouldn't Take Personally

Not everything your kid does is a poor reflection on you. Here are four things that every child does that you shouldn't pull your hair out over.

1. Ignore You: From a toddler mesmerized by Mickey Mouse or a teenager not picking up her cell phone, kids are going to ignore their parents. The reasons will vary, but every child will do it - at some point. Your best course of action is not to scold or chastise too much; this way, your words will hold more weight when you do talk.
2. Break Things: Just like you shouldn't loan out anything you'd be upset not to get back, don't give your kids anything that you'd be mad at them for breaking; because cell phones end up in toilets, lamps end up in pieces, earrings gets lost and eventually cars end up backing over mailboxes. Childhood is messy!
3. Experiment: Kids are curious and they want to learn about the world around them. As they get older this desire doesn't die, it develops into a need to participate in their world. So whether it's an infant sticking everything into his mouth, a pre-schooler trying to climb a drain pipe, a tween dealing with peer pressure, or a 15 year-old wondering about sex -protect them from what you can. Teach them to know all the facts and to weigh the consequences before making decisions so you can trust them to use their better judgment when you're not around.
4. Grow Up: Every parent knows that the moments of childhood are fleeting. The years go so fast and before you know it that giggly 6 year old is 16 and asking you if he can go tour colleges 1000 miles away - without you!! And no matter what you do, how hard you wish, it is going to happen. Your baby will grow up. Trying to fight it will only cause tension between you.
   The time will pass whether you are on good terms with your child or bad, so let the little things go, appreciate your kids for who they are, and let them grow in love and laughter. Enjoy each stage of their lives because when you try to keep them in the past, you miss out on their present!

5 Things Every Mom Should Invest In

Modern mothers are constantly bombarded with deals for devices that will make parenting easier, quicker, or safer. With everything from Mommy & Me classes to baby wipe warmers, its hard to know what things are actually worth your time and money. Here are 5 things you won't find in Babies-R-Us that every mother should invest in; where the payoff far out ways the price tag.

1) a DVR: Always falling asleep and missing the end of Grey's Anatomy? No more being a slave to your parenting schedule. Go ahead, take the time to read that extra bedtime story and then clean up all those Cheerios that have found their way under the radiator and into your shoes. Knowing that Dancing With the Stars is recording and will be waiting for you, frees up your mind and your day to focus on other things. Oh and you can record your kid's favorite shows too!

Investment: $5-$15 dollars a month depending on location and cable carrier.

Pay Off: actually knowing what's going on in the adult world and not just wondering why Kai-Lan and Dora don't play with kids of their own species.

2) a Crock-Pot: This is the most wonderful Mommy-time-saving device EVER!! You can make hundreds of different things and have a home cooked meal every night. Just dump in the ingredients in the morning and go about your day. No more 2pm stress about what you're going to make for dinner. Like the DVR, its biggest benefit is freeing up your time. It's multitasking where you don't have to do anything.

Investment: $20-$80 dollars depending on size and features.Pay Off: being able to give your family a home-cooked every night without standing in the kitchen for hours.

3) a Detachable Shower Head. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is to rinse shampoo off your kids with this device. Let them play in the tub and when you're ready, soap them up and hose them down! An adjustable spray nozzle will help to make cleaning other things a breeze as well. A soft spray for wiping down a dirty play mat and a hard stream for getting dried peas from a high chair seat cover. As an added bonus, it will help you recharge quicker and more fully by massaging the day away.

Investment: $10-$40 depending on style.

Pay Off: being able to quickly clean just about anything - including your toddler.

4) a Really, Really Good Friendship. Whether or not they have kids of their own, a really good friend is priceless to a stressed out Mom. Having someone in your life that understands if you're late due to a diaper situation and doesn't care that you haven't had time to shower in two days, goes a long way in helping you keep grounded. They'll babysit your kid, listen to you

when you have a meltdown and make sure you get out of the house once in a while.

Investment: a few hours a week.
Pay Off: preserving your sanity.

5) You. The most important thing that you can invest in as a parent is yourself and yet it's the one thing that almost all mothers let go of. Keeping some sparkle of who you were before you were Mommy, helps hold on to your own identity and not just feel like the maid, chauffeur, and personal chef to the little prince. Spending some time focusing on things you love and accomplishing what you want in life will prevent you from becoming resentful, allow you to have experiences and expertise to share with your children, and help define you as something other than "mother" in their eyes.

Investment: as much as you can give without feeling like you're neglecting your family.
Pay Off: securing your identity.

Preventing a Mommy Meltdown

There are toys all over the floor, dishes piled in the sink, two loads of unfolded laundry on the bed, a two year old literally running circles around you and it's only 1pm! Here are 4 helpful tips to keep you from losing your cool.

1) Perspective. Remember your kid is not the first eat dirt or throw cans in the supermarket or scream in church or even use those complimentary crayons to write on the table at IHOP. So take a deep breath and keep in mind that kids are kids, and all parents have gone through it.

2) Sunlight! Getting out of the house gives your little one space to be free and the change of scenery does you both well. Not being stared down by all your chores will help mellow your mood (as long as you don't dwell on all the things you have to do once you get back). Take the time to refocus your thoughts. Also sunlight has far reaching health benefits: it helps prevent depression, bones loss, and even cancer!

3)Music! Pump up the volume and shake it with you little one. Play songs that get you excited and make you happy. You can even multitask by cleaning up to the beat as long as you make it fun for your child. Make a playlist or burn a CD so that when you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, all you have to do is press play.

4)Prioritize. Not everything is a five alarm fire. If the bed doesn't get made, who cares?! Do what needs to be done and save other things for when things are more manageable. You're not perfect. Some days you'll be able to have the kids settled, the house clean and dinner done. Other days you'll be ordering take-out while the rugrats decorate the living room with toilet paper. So give yourself a break.