4 Things Your Kids Will Do That You Shouldn't Take Personally

Not everything your kid does is a poor reflection on you. Here are four things that every child does that you shouldn't pull your hair out over.

1. Ignore You: From a toddler mesmerized by Mickey Mouse or a teenager not picking up her cell phone, kids are going to ignore their parents. The reasons will vary, but every child will do it - at some point. Your best course of action is not to scold or chastise too much; this way, your words will hold more weight when you do talk.
2. Break Things: Just like you shouldn't loan out anything you'd be upset not to get back, don't give your kids anything that you'd be mad at them for breaking; because cell phones end up in toilets, lamps end up in pieces, earrings gets lost and eventually cars end up backing over mailboxes. Childhood is messy!
3. Experiment: Kids are curious and they want to learn about the world around them. As they get older this desire doesn't die, it develops into a need to participate in their world. So whether it's an infant sticking everything into his mouth, a pre-schooler trying to climb a drain pipe, a tween dealing with peer pressure, or a 15 year-old wondering about sex -protect them from what you can. Teach them to know all the facts and to weigh the consequences before making decisions so you can trust them to use their better judgment when you're not around.
4. Grow Up: Every parent knows that the moments of childhood are fleeting. The years go so fast and before you know it that giggly 6 year old is 16 and asking you if he can go tour colleges 1000 miles away - without you!! And no matter what you do, how hard you wish, it is going to happen. Your baby will grow up. Trying to fight it will only cause tension between you.
   The time will pass whether you are on good terms with your child or bad, so let the little things go, appreciate your kids for who they are, and let them grow in love and laughter. Enjoy each stage of their lives because when you try to keep them in the past, you miss out on their present!

Letting Kids Choose

Ever wonder what's so funny to your child as she flicks the switch and gets the elephant to appear on her pop-n-see? It's not the funny sound or even the sudden appearance of the "effelant"; It's simple cause and effect. She caused the elephant to appear and that makes her happy. Children are happiest when they can exercise some control over their surroundings (think about it: you don't like being told what to do, so why should they?). Giving your child simple options and allowing him to make decisions is a great way to let them be in control of their lives - partially at least. This is a small step towards independence, gaining self confidence, learning self reliance and strengthening the parent-child bond.

I'm not recommending you let your 3 year old do whatever he wants. However, letting him choose between wearing the blue pirate shirt or the green dinosaur shirt, helps him to begin to identify what he wants and why. This simple action goes a long way in building his identity. He is also more likely to show an interest in getting dressed (which is helpful if you have a little streaker at home) if he's included in the process. He'll feel more confident, a strong sense of pride, and a smidgen of respect for you, for allowing him the freedom to choose. And don't stress things that don't really matter. Give them free range over things that you're not going to be a stickler about. Which book they read at bed time is far less important than the fact that they are reading. So if they want to read Good Morning, Sun at 9pm, read it!

Allowing children to make their own choices also helps teach them about consequences. Once your daughter decides on wearing the pink sneakers, she shouldn't be allowed to change her mind over and over again making everyone late for work and school. She was given the options and now she has to live with the pink sneakers for today. Constantly giving in to children shows them that your boundaries are meaningless and they begin to lose respect for you as an authority figure. So hold firm to your limits. If the options are broccoli or carrots with dinner and they ask for corn for the third night in a row, gently explain that "We had corn yesterday, today we can have broccoli or carrots. We can have corn again on Thursday."

The key to letting your kids make choices is being comfortable with all the options you give them. Don't give her options that you don't approve of, that will upset you, or if you're not going to be supportive of her decision. Just because you think the yellow rain coat looks cuter, doesn't mean she's wrong for choosing the red one. Respect the fact that she likes the red coat and feels more comfortable and confident wearing it. So make sure their options are age appropriate and parent approved, and then leave the decision making to them.