Mommy Commencement Speech

          Now that all the children have headed back to school, I thought it was a perfect time for a Commencement Speech for Mommy's. A rally cry as we all go forth through the tears, the joys, the heartaches that come with a new school year. Whether it's sending our little ones off for the very first time or watching our almost adults begin the first year of college, there's something about this time of year that calls for Mommy Camaraderie.

       We tell ourselves this year is going to be different. I'm going to pack lunches the night before, I'm going to have home cooked meals every night, I'm going to volunteer more at the school, I'm going to have at least one date night a month, and I'm ABSOLUTELY going to start that Zumba class!! We make promises to ourselves and find ourselves remaking them by New Years and letting them fall to the waste side by spring break.

       It is very easy to tell you to relax. It's easy to give you the long list of Mommy-Feel-Good lines that are printed over and over. It is harder to make those words resound, make you take them to heart. It is nearly impossible to make you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're doing fine, especially when you feel like everything around you is in chaos. That feeling is normal. Every mom has it whether they admit it or not. So many of us try to portray perfection. even though TV & movies have been open to showing the "ugly-side' of motherhood- the no-make up, dinner from a can, messy living room, chasing after a 3 year old, miss-matched sock reality of it all. But even this does not ease the burden of actually raising children.

      So I say this to you: Be kind to yourself.  Please. There is only one you, no good substitute or replacement is available. You are your child parent- for better or worse. So do the things that make you happy. Be an example to them that life is about smiles and laughter, love and joy. Enstil in them a strong work ethic and an equally sense of self-worth by living it. The dishes won't complain about sitting in the sink for an our while you read bedtime stories and if you can learn to ignore your nagging inner voice the laundry will wait diligently until after your yoga class.

     It is still your life even though it sometimes may feel that you've given over control to Eris, the goddess of chaos. You deserve happiness, just as your children do. So give yourself a break (literally and figuratively) take a long walk and forgive yourself for ordering take out 3 nights in a row. Make a promise to relinquish some of that control, slack the reigns and enjoy the ride.

Meditation for Kids

There are many benefits associated with meditation and recently this group of relaxing techniques has been touted as a wonder-therapy for kids with ADHD. however when you have kids, any amount of time spent in silence seems to be just a myth. Exposing children, even young ones, to the beauty of silence helps them relax their minds & bodies and also prevents over stimulation. There are hundreds of ways to introduce children to meditation; here are a few tips and suggestions to help you find what works for you and your little one.

• Meditation shouldn't be a punishment or a chore. Do not pressure children to mediate; let them gravitate to it on their own. Not everyone will be moved to meditation and no one should be forced if they are not ready; it defeats the purpose. So, make sure you introduce meditation in a positive way, and present a variety of options so the child understands that your not simply looking for a few minutes of quiet.
  
• Don't over do it. The general rule is 1 minute of silence for every year of life. So don't stress yourself trying to get your two year old to sit still for an hour. Begin by using the meditation as a warm up or cool down to other activities and do not overwhelm young ones with too much explanation or complexity.
• Start out as something you do together. Avoid making it a competition. It's not about who can be quiet the longest. Instead use the time to bond. Whether its just quiet time, or you introduce stretching, walking, or yoga; Let this be time where it's you and your child; no phone, no TV, no visitors. Soon your child will look forward to having uninterrupted time with you.
  

For Ages Birth - 1
As you can probably imagine, this really isn't meditation. Its basically carving out a time where you and your child sit quietly. No TV, no music, no distractions. Maybe just rocking them gently while deep breathing or humming a soft lullaby.

For Ages 1-4
Once children are mobile and on the move, it's harder to get them to sit quietly. If introducing them at this stage, use meditation as a opening act for something else. Example, go for a short walk and say, "Before we go for our walk we need to get ready." Then help your child sit on the floor and do simple stretches and breathing. After your walk, have the child repeat the stretching and breathing exercises.

For Ages 5-7
Start with guided meditations that will allow you to develop something that is more like story telling and gradually get them to a place where they are guided by their own thoughts and imaginations. Have them visualize walking on a beach and watching the waves, or sitting in the grass watching the flowers sway in the breeze.

For Ages 7-10
At this age, you can begin to introduce self-reflection. Begin with a guided meditation and then ask simple questions like, "Did something upset you today?" or "What can you do to be a better friend/student/brother?". No answers are needed aloud. This is a time for the child to look inward and have some self-reflection and you will be teaching them to ask these kinds of questions of themselves.

Note: It is important that both you and the children are dressed comfortably - preferably sweats/shorts and a t-shirt - and to not be hungry, tired or sleepy. You and your child shouldn't be distracted by an itchy sock or a grumbling belly. Also note that you do not need any special mood-setting paraphernalia like candles, music or special aromas. All you need is space and quiet.